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The BUFH Chronicles

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PCQ Bureau
New Update

alt="humor.jpg (17510 bytes)" align="right">It was

thursday. I had to be in the lab. Not that I wanted to, but some professors tell us (the

students) we have to use the school computer. Something about funding, I guess.

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Some one has been trying to

call the operator for about two hours. He has been swearing up a blue streak.

Me, I just finished the

stuff the professor wants (yes on my user ID).

Once I am done with that, I

get into another account (it pays to read e-mail). Some people know nothing of security.

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The program I am currently

working on does the following. Goes and changes the user’s password. Then it greps

the password file for similar encrypted words. Then dumps the results to another file on a

dummy account.

Dummy account, yeah, I had

a talk with the secretary of one of the departments. She says that she would do anything

to get even with the BOFH.

So, I got into her computer

remotely and found the purity test answers. Now she will do everything I need.

(Interesting answers, she is so conservative, who would have guessed that she

preferred…)

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When you are the Bastard

User From Hell, you need not do anything. You get others to do it for you.

Back to the program I am

running.

See what you get for

reading magazines. I got a list of the 100 most popular passwords. Well, I just had to try

it out.

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The guy who has been trying

for two hours finally gets in. Then he goes over and does something on the terminal.

AAAUUUUURRRRRGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!.

The BOFH must have told him

to use rm for something else. More disk space for me.

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Another guy wants a

printout. The BOFH comes back with one of the crappiest printouts I have seen. Man, what

did he do to that one?

Alright, the program I put

in has got me at least 32 more accounts. There is going to be no problem of computer time

now. And the program is only half through.

That guy is still talking

to the BOFH.

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He gives him his

diskettes...are you done for now?

Later I see him walking out

with the diskettes over his head. I do not even want to know.

The program ends. I have 53

new user IDs and password I can use. Great...that consulting work I am doing on the side

will get done and I won’t have to buy a new computer.

Being the Bastard User From

Hell means never running out of accessible userIDs.

John W Fox from the Internet

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